The Surveyor

Bathroom Pass? I’ll Pass.

Mr.+Witte%27s+bathroom+pass.
Mr. Witte's bathroom pass.

Mr. Witte's bathroom pass.

Alliyah Wilcox

Alliyah Wilcox

Mr. Witte's bathroom pass.

Sydney Dusek, Staff Reporter

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A student walks into the bathroom, cautiously avoiding the puddles that mark the floors.  The student then tentatively pushes open the door of a vacant stall, assesses the scene, and likely tries a couple of stalls more before finding one that is acceptable.  The student seems to have decided on a stall but hesitates.  What is the cause of the poor student’s uncertainty?  The question of what to do with the laminated piece of paper (or in some cases, novel object) that they are required to bring with them to the bathroom as a means of preventing shenanigans in the hallway during class.

The defeated student perhaps settles on placing dreaded “bathroom pass” (or, as I would argue, vile germ conveyor) on the repulsive floor; or on the back of the sink, where it will inevitably be splashed (this is probably the least offensive option, as it implies that the student at least intends to wash their hands), or god forbid they just hold it in their hand.

Bathroom passes are absolutely disgusting.  

While most objects at school that are handled by multiple people daily are undeniably disgusting, bathroom passes are especially objectionable.  Proximity to fecal matter, exposure to fluids of different sorts, and immediate contact with soiled hands that too often are not adequately washed are characteristic of bathroom passes.  It is not the fault of the bathroom passes; they are inherently disgusting.

To be fair, proponents of bathroom passes do have a reasonable argument for the purpose behind the passes.  Principal John Cline explained, “When a student is out of the classroom, folks know where that person is headed, so adequate supervision in the hallways can be provided.  We all want to provide a safe and orderly learning environment for students.”

Bathroom passes may effectively serve their purpose of maintaining an orderly environment, but they are also effective transport devices for germs and icky things.  

Mark Hilton, a language arts teacher at Wash, is also disgusted by bathroom passes.  “Conceptually, I totally understand the need for them.  From a hygiene standpoint, I find them revolting,” said Hilton.

Despite the ickiness of bathroom passes, Hilton does comply with the bathroom pass policy.  “I do require my students to use hall passes because it allows us, as staff members, to hold students accountable for their whereabouts and movement during class time,” explained Hilton.

Sure, there is a rationale behind bathroom passes, but I still object to the concept of requiring students to carry such detestable items with them to the bathroom.  High school students should be mature enough to walk between class and the bathroom without causing a ruckus.  

However, the reality is that some unruly students apparently cannot behave like functioning human beings and and behave in a civil manner when given an ounce of freedom.  These obnoxious hooligans are justification for the concept of bathroom passes, and therefore, I object to them too.

In short, students, please be responsible. Don’t be stupid.  And administrators and teachers, please stop requiring students to carry bathroom passes.  Nobody should be forced to come into contact with such loathsome things.

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Bathroom Pass? I’ll Pass.